It begins with self-compassion and ends with contributing to the greater good:

KEY POINTS

– Compassion can be seen as a four-step process: awareness, connection, empathy, and action. The element of action is what takes compassion beyond feelings of empathy or concern.
– Self-compassion is the starting point for compassionate leadership.
– Research shows that there is no tension between compassionate leadership and results.

Through research into Empathic Leadership, I’ve enjoyed exploring related styles like Compassionate Leadership. The Center for Compassionate Leadership seemed a good place to learn from. The Center’s founder, Laura Berland, and co-founder, Evan Herrel, kindly agreed to answer my questions, before hosting a virtual Global Compassion Gathering that begins at noon (ET) on July 15.

Is compassion related to empathic concern?

EVAN: We consider compassion to be a four-step process: Awareness, Connection, Empathy, Action. Connection is very similar to positive regard. So, the middle two elements, connection and empathy, comprise empathic concern as we understand it.

What about Action?

EVAN: The distinction between empathy or empathic concern and compassion is the intention to move to action. We value the work of Singer and Klimecki on the neurological difference between empathy and compassion: that empathic responses are observed to activate in pain regions of the brain, while compassion activates in the reward region.

How do we become more compassionate?

LAURA: The beauty of compassion is that we were born this way! Showing compassion and caring for each other is one of the key evolutionary shifts that enabled us to thrive as a human species. While Darwin is known for the role of competition in survival, his later work established the importance of cooperative communities.

Can you define compassionate leadership?

LAURA: It means using the lens of compassion as your guiding principle. Practically speaking, it means treating those you lead with compassion, in all situations, and creating a culture of compassion that supports the flourishing of everyone within that culture. This orientation overrides traditional hierarchal leadership, where winning at all costs, competition, and profits are the starting points. Research shows that there is no tension between compassionate leadership and results.

Is there a danger that only compassionate people will tune in to your message?

EVAN: We observed much more resistance to the idea before the global pandemic. Now that we are all moving through this massive collective challenge and continue to experience the devastating failure of so many systems, there is a new openness to how we rebuild in a new way.

Thankfully, most leaders trust data and science. An explosion of academic and business research allows us to present an evidence-based rationale in support of compassion and compassionate leadership. If anyone is truly stuck in an old paradigm, we let them be. They will feel the call to change or not. There is no convincing or proving necessary. Leaders will grow and expand on their own timeline or eventually stagnate.

Is developing compassion in leaders difficult?

LAURA: Even compassionate leaders cite self-compassion as a major challenge. Many leaders get the importance and benefits of showing compassion for others but fail to prioritize their own needs, wellbeing, and compassion toward themselves. This is why we teach compassion from the inside out; starting with self-compassion.

Do the systems in place inhibit the rise of compassionate political leaders?

EVAN: The prevailing systems reward non-compassionate behaviors. Developing compassion in people motivated by power is more difficult. We need more organizations like Compassion in Politics.

Thankfully, we have examples of compassion in politics. Jacinda Ardern, in New Zealand, is often described as both an empathic and compassionate leader. Other examples seem predominantly female. Are there gender differences regarding compassion?

LAURA: When we think of compassion as only care and nurturing, the scales still tip toward these feminine qualities. However, when we look at the full spectrum of compassion in action, including effective systems change, it requires traditionally masculine qualities of strength and courage as well.

A common initial reaction to the idea of empathic leadership, is that empathy can make a leader weaker? I refer people to the science that demonstrates that empathy makes a leader more popular, powerful, and successful. Do you get the same initial reaction to compassionate leadership?

EVAN: Yes. And we give them the same response you do. It’s not just empathy/compassion leaders fear but also showing vulnerability. While you may fear that showing vulnerability makes you appear weak, the evidence shows it makes you appear human, more likable, and more effective at creating successful teams.

Empathic leaders may employ empathy to understand rivals, and use this knowledge against them. Is a compassionate leader less competitive?

EVAN: No, we don’t believe so. Compassionate leaders would act much like the empathic leaders you characterize in your question. Compassionate leadership does not negate competitive advantage in the marketplace. In fact, it creates a more effective and successful workforce.

Leaders in sport have told me that some individuals may take advantage of their style. I’m also thinking of nurses in the NHS in the UK. There’s a pay dispute at the moment. The UK Government seems to take advantage of the compassionate nature of people in caring professions. Can we be too compassionate?

EVAN: We don’t believe you can be too compassionate. Compassion requires kindness, wisdom, and courage. To be taken advantage of, one of those is out of balance — usually wisdom or courage. It’s not compassionate to be taken advantage of in order to help someone else. One needs to have the wisdom to recognize the consequences of submitting to the wishes of someone else. One also needs the courage to say no to someone. Good boundaries are compassionate.

Maybe nurses can lack self-compassion?

LAURA: We start by teaching that understanding and experiencing the practice of self-compassion will enhance the ability to be compassionate to others. Many people, especially in the caring professions, carry limiting beliefs about how and why it is more important to care for others in advance of their own needs. When people recognize that we often respond to our own suffering with less kindness and understanding than we respond to another’s suffering, they can take steps to enhance self-compassion.

Finally, do you have advice for any leaders considering a more compassionate approach?

LAURA: We encourage leaders to be open and courageous in their exploration of compassionate leadership. Understand the evidence: Compassion makes you more present, aware, happier, and less stressed. Compassionate leadership culture, skills, and practices create organizations of safety, connection, and belonging that foster individual flourishing and better organizational outcomes. Compassionate leadership also contributes to the greater good.

This article first appeared at Psychology Today. See original publication here

The first indications of a lack of empathy in leadership may lie in the problems the leader is regularly faced with. If one or more of the following issues seems familiar, a solution may be found in a more empathic approach:

1. Miscommunications

It may seem obvious, but miscommunicating information will not often lead to the desired response. Before delivery, a leader needs to consider how communication will be received and understood. An empathic leader will tailor messages appropriately to maintain clarity and avoid the receiver “getting the wrong end of the stick.”

Communication must work both ways. Listening is fundamental to leadership (LLopis, 2013) and provides the leader an opportunity to learn more about an individual. A leader must seek to understand, while ensuring those they lead feel understood.

Mutual understanding is enhanced through regular rather than rare communication, since this allows knowledge of one another to grow and progress. One symptom of miscommunication can be a poor relationship. Without empathy, what a leader sees as helpful feedback may be received as criticism or even disdain. Miscommunications like this will push relationships in the wrong direction.

2. Poor Relationships

If a leader cannot empathise with the people that they lead, their relationships will suffer. An empathic leader needs to get to know and understand who a person really is, and this can only be achieved through a close relationship. Furthermore, surveys regularly show that in the workplace, relationships are valued more than wages (Mitchell, 2014) and this has implications for recruitment and retention.

Leaders often try to take a shortcut to knowing a person by using personality profiling or psychometric tests. Getting to know people in a social way challenges the time and emotional energy of leaders, but the rewards appear to outweigh these costs. Knowledge elicits understanding and maintains close relationships. The alternative is distant or poor relationships, which will have dire consequences for commitment, trust, and respect. Furthermore, they damage the climate.

3. Toxic Climates

When relationships break down or are distant, behaviour and emotions are less predictable. As human beings, we tend to fear the unknown. This leaves people guessing what a leader wants from them and wearing a heavy mask that suits their imagined role. People are also less likely to offer their ideas, which inhibits the creativity of the group.

The fear of the unknown works both ways. A leader becomes paranoid about how they are perceived, and this breeds insecurity. An insecure leader will be more likely to focus on their own needs. Hence, a lack of empathy in a climate brings a lack of care.

Leaders who do not bother to get to know their people will never know their problems, many of which will impact performance, as well as their wellbeing. All considered, a toxic climate is an unsafe one. The spiral is downward, and the performance of all parties will suffer. People excel in climates of safety, not climates of fear (Tynan, 2021).

It is no wonder that empathy now features on job postings for leaders across industries. From sport to medicine, and from politics to business, leadership will suffer due to a lack of it. Leadership can pose a variety of problems that set a team or organization on a negative path. Understanding that a more empathic approach offers a solution is the first step on the road to positive change.

References

Mitchell, L. (2014). Good relationships at work more important than salary, survey finds | HRZone. Retrieved March 8, 2021, from HR Zone

LLopis, G. (2013). 6 Ways Effective Listening Can Make You A Better Leader. Retrieved March 8, 2021, from Forbes

Tynan, E. (2021). Signs You’re in a Toxic Work Environment — and How to Handle It. Retrieved March 8, 2021, from Top Resume

This article first appeared at Psychology Today. See original publication here